(or 35 Days Down, 14 Days to Go…)
I find it hard to believe, but here we are, already at the end of August. Yes, August, that glorious month of the year when shrinks everywhere go off and do something else. What, I’m not sure. When I asked my own therapist what she does during this mysterious August sabbatical, she replied “oh, it changes each year.” Which is a typical shrinky-response but does not, actually, answer my question. Who knows. Perhaps she is off relaxing on a tropical island or attending an international conference or making lesson plans for the fall semester or catching up on sleep. Maybe she just sits in her office and basks in the quietness and emptiness of it all. I honestly have no idea and, as she is not giving any hints, I guess I must just let my imagination run wild.
After I asked her what she would be doing this August, and after she gave her non-response, she then inquired “do you have any feelings about that?” I simply said “no.” Firstly, I’m not going to spend any more time in therapy talking about any feelings that I have because of something that a therapist did or did not say or do. For me, that shifts too much of the focus from me to them, and maybe I’m still squeamish at that prospect. It’s much better to keep everything squarely focused on me less I get pulled into someone else’s shit. And secondly, and more importantly, the feelings that I did have were actually ones of relief and anticipation.
So I said “no, I don’t have any feelings.” And then “I think we all need a break, every now and again.” And that’s the truth. I need a break from her and therapy probably as much, if not more so, than she needs a break from me and her work.