(or Why I Hate the Hallmark Holidays)
You may be wondering why the divergence into motherhood.
I wondered that too, as I looked at the stories and themes that I wanted to commit to writing, instead of just let swirl around in my head.
For me, motherhood and my coming out process are intractably linked. Becoming a mother made me face, head-on, all that I had buried and repressed after I came out.
It was one thing for my parents to treat me badly. It was less tolerable for them to treat me and my wife badly. And it was completely unacceptable for them to treat my children badly, or to fail to acknowledge us as a legitimate family, or to see my marriage as “real,” or to belittle or demean me in front of my kids. It was a whole new ballgame.
Some of my parents’ behaviors are conscious. Many are unconscious and just the product of societal and religious prejudices. Either way, it’s toxic.
And so I find days like today, those Hallmark holidays in our calendar, particularly hard to endure.